sometimes my job hurts my eyes

This is the time of year when the little (or not so little in my case) elves come out and build the sets for Santa to come sit and greet children for that all important "PHOTO WITH SANTA".

I have been makings Santa's house beautiful for the last 5 years. Sometimes the things I see are painful to look at.  I am being constantly visually assaulted by the glory that is holiday.  Some days I have to sit down and close my eyes for a few minutes just to regroup.

I really enjoy my work. It is demanding, tight deadlined, overwhelming, exhausting (15 hour days for 20 days), and sometimes just plain horrific.  There is climbing, crawling, hanging, heavy equipment, blood, injury, attitude, scrooge, illness, hunger, pain... All it takes is for one of the children to come up and be in awe that you are getting Santa's house ready and it all is perfect!

For that reason, (and the $) I come back year after year and make things better than they were the year before.  Children are the future.  The small hopes and dreams of childhood are few and for many are not even nonexistent.  The dream of Santa lives in the heart of many and is a beautiful part of childhood.

For many the holiday is commercial, but there is a rise in a more simple holiday.  One filled with family, friends and for some faith.  The idea that crosses over many people, even those who don't have religion in there lives, is that baby in a manger.

Again, it is the children that make us believe.  For them,  we believe, we love, we have to rise above.

Fairness~Hope~Peace

for Natalie, Nina & Helen. But, mostly for you Leslie, I miss you everyday.

her son:    www.flickr.com/photos/zimza/244180623/

her daughter:    www.flickr.com/photos/zimza/244180625/

a little of her story:    www.flickr.com/photos/zimza/2534747041/

There are times in our lives when we will question the "fairness" of life. The what, how & why that follow something that leaves us frightened and empty. For me, I see those times as few.

Plain & simple, life is not fair.

There is starvation, disease, murder, death, poverty, (physical, sexual & verbal) abuse, accidents, birth defects, mental defects and a whole laundry list of things that I've left out.

Our world is defective, as a people we are defective and or future looks defective.

There have been events in my life that have made me see things as more of a realist. I know those things are out there and that I am not immune. When tragic situations unfold, I am one that reacts. I see what needs to be done and do it. I now see that behavior as a form of self preservation.

I will never change who I am or how I handle crisis. But, I will begin to explain my feelings to others to allow them to understand my protective "bubble".

Along, with my health issues, I have lost my share of family & friends. One friend that made a incredible impact on me was Leslie. She was a creative intellect. Scattered, cerebral, wacky & lovely. She lost her 2 year battle with breast cancer 4 years ago. She left behind an amazing husband, and two beautiful children.

With this post I can feel her here and believe that I can finally understand why she held out hope until she was gone. Hope is the only thing we have when everything else has been stripped away.

I hope for the planet, for the human race, for peace, for my child, for life.